EQ and Team Enthusiasm

We often hear within the “Agile” community that teams that are able to “self organize” can be highly effective. However, the ability of a group of people to self-organize is highly dependent on their personalities. Further, groups often organize in a very dysfunctional way, with one person taking charge and creating an inner circle that bullies or excludes others in the group.

Instead of focusing on self organization, it is more productive to focus on what traits enable groups of people to work well together. The concept of emotional intelligence, or “EQ”, is often used to describe the degree to which people are emotionally “mature”, and therefore be likely to be able to work well with others. The ability of a group to self-organize is therefore an outcome that one would expect from the group members having high emotional intelligence, or EQ. In this view, EQ is the thing to focus on, rather than insisting that the group self organize.

Having said that, it is best to think of EQ as a general idea, rather than a specific set of traits. Two people who both have high EQ can have very different personalities. EQ is therefore not about having a certain personality: it is more about how reactive or in control one is. There are no psychometric tests for EQ that employers can easily give. One would have to simulate real situations, to create the stresses and measure responses, such as what astronauts endure during their evaluation and training. For the rest of us, EQ is something that we must assess by observing people over time in real situations, or by hearing from others we trust about how those people behave.

One of the key aspects of emotional intelligence is one’s ability to stand back and examine one’s own behavior — that is, one’s self awareness of one’s traits and the qualities of one’s interactions with others, as well as consciousness of one’s own emotional state. People who have high self-awareness are in a better position to be able to manage their own state. That is why learning about emotions and reactive behavior is an important early step in developing self awareness: it gives one a taxonomy and patterns to watch for.

Another important aspect of emotional intelligence is one’s ability to adjust their own behavior during conflict or stress, and also the ability to act in a way that truly balances one’s short-term and long-term goals.

It is not easy to change one’s own behavior during stress. When under stress, which includes anger, the body produces cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals have a powerful effect on one’s behavior. For example, the ability to down-regulate during stress — meaning to quickly calm oneself and step back, allowing the anger to dissipate — requires discipline and practice. Even as one down-regulates, the chemicals are still present, so down-regulation must persist until the body has metabolized those chemicals, which can be several minutes.

There are techniques that help one to down-regulate, such as (1) reminding oneself of one’s goals, (2) generating internal empathy for the others involved, and (3) focusing on calming thoughts or loved ones.

Team Member EQ

The founders and executive leaders of an initiative set the tone for the rest of the organization. That is why it is crucial that founders and people at the highest level have high EQ. That will enable them to work together well, to remain calm in a crisis, and to balance short- and long-term goals. They will treat others with respect, and create a supportive and positive culture.

The challenge is that there is not an easy way to assess EQ. Therefore, it is best to ease into a relationship with someone who you are contemplating including in a leadership team. Work with them a little over time to see how they react to situations. As you develop confidence in their ability to handle things emotionally — that is, to stay focused during chaos, to keep calm and remain kind when there is disagreement, and to stay the course over time — then include them more and eventually decide whether they should be asked to be a partner or executive team member in the endeavor.

If gradual involvement is not possible, then recommendations from people you trust can be a proxy for getting to know someone over time.

Improving EQ

People can improve their own emotional intelligence if they are motivated to do so. The first step is to learn more about it. Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence is a great place to start. A behavioral therapist whose focus is emotional intelligence is also worth considering.

Team Emotional Intelligence

The saying “one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel” applies very aptly to teams. The behavior of a team is very much constrained by the behavior of its most dysfunctional member. For example, it is hard to have focused and productive discussions if one person keeps taking the discussion down tangential avenues.

A team lead who has high EQ and experience leading discussions can can manage the situation. The best response depends on what is happening, as well as the history. For example, if someone is disruptive for the first time, trying to coach them on their behavior might help. But if it does not help, and they continue to be disruptive, then it might be necessary to either give them their own tasks and keep them out of group discussions, or consider removing them from the team.

Groups can self-manage disruptive members to some extent. However, this can feel like being “ganged up on” and it can result in the disruptive member, who might have been able to improve if given a chance, deciding to withdraw, or — worse — silently sabotaging things. An unhappy group member can also sometimes persuade others to become unhappy as well, in effect spreading the discontent. The group can eventually split into factions.

If a group has an experienced and high-EQ leader, that person will set the tone for the group by demonstrating that they expect productive discussions that stay focused. They will demonstrate that they expect quick but thoughtful decisions on what to do next. They will demonstrate that when things don’t go well, they react in an inquisitive rather than a blaming way. And they will show appreciation for others and create a supportive atmosphere.

When we say “they will demonstrate”, we mean that they will behave that way themselves, and they will give helpful and supportive feedback that explains what they expect when people deviate from what is expected. They will also build an individual relationship with each team member, adapting to the needs of each person, because each person is unique.

Teams who have a high-EQ leader tend to be enthusiastic and sanguine about their opportunities and their work. The team lead might be inspiring, or they might not be; but the person has shown that they can be trusted. The team respects them.

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